I Always Have and I Always Will
by SherlockHolmesIsReal
Summary: It was exactly 6 months ago today. How did I just sit there and do nothing? I miss him so much. Too much. He was my best friend. My only friend.


It was exactly 6 months ago today. How did I just sit there and do nothing?

I miss him so much. Too much. He was my best friend. My only friend.

**October 23rd**

I sit here calmly thinking about my most recent case.

*receives a text* 'I'm starting to get a little envious of you and John. - JM'

I read the text and wonder what he means by it. I reply with 'Envious? -SH'

I get up and wonder around the room waiting for a reply. Ten minutes have passed by now. I wonder where John has got to... *receives a text* ' Yes, quite. You two are so cute. It's a shame really... - JM' I sit back down still wondering what he means. 'What's a shame? -SH' He immediately replies - 'Oh nothing... you'll soon work it out - JM'

Brain buzzing I walk into the kitchen and think for a moment. I reply. 'Where's John, what have you done with him?' *incoming call* From John. I immediately answer it. 'John where are you?' He breathes heavily 'S-Sherlock please... Help me' I get cut off. I try to ring him back but it keeps going to answer phone. Jim replies, 'He's with me, don't worry I'll take good care of him. The Abandoned warehouse, South London, come. -JM'

I run out of the flat and get into a cab. 'The Abandoned Warehouse, South London. Hurry.'

It takes exactly 23 minutes to get there. I start to believe this is one of Jim's games again.

The cab stops half a mile away so I pay, get out and start running. It doesn't take long before I reach the warehouse.

I run inside to find John just laying there on the floor. Shot in the head.

'JOHN' I shout, but I get no reply. Jim walks over to me. 'I told you it's a shame. But I do have a very good assassin. Sherlock, meet Sebastian Moran, the man who shot John Watson in the head.'

My heart's beating far too fast for comfort. I am raging with anger. Moran and his employer escape before I can do anything.

I run over to John, he's still alive. 'You will be alright, John, you always are. *phones an ambulance* I need help, a mans dying, we're at the abandoned warehouse, come as fast as possible. They say they'll come quick but I don't know if it will be quick enough. My head is spinning, my best friend is dying.

The ambulance arrives and they carry John into it. I sit with John the whole time, telling him it will be ok, but I'm actually telling myself.

We arrive at St. Bartholomew's hospital. They put John on a hospital bed as fast as they can. They tell me I have to leave but I refuse to until they force me out of the room.

It seems like I have to wait a life time for them to tell me anything.

**10 hours later. **

I nearly fell asleep. Finally, the doctor comes out. 'I'm so sorry to tell you this ... He luckily survived being shot but he has developed a serious case of Glioblastoma, an aggressive, cancerous brain tumour. He has around a year to live.

I don't reply, but just stand there. Too many thoughts are going through my head.

I walk into the hospital room and see that John is awake. I walk over the hospital bed and ask the doctor if I can be alone with him. The doctor leaves.

I don't remember the last time I cried but I did then. I was speechless... I just stared at him. He finally spoke. 'It's alright Sherlock, please don't cry. You're here now and that's all that matters to me.'

**One month later they let John out of hospital. **

'Lets go back to the flat, I miss home.' That's all he said for the whole journey home.

We arrive at the flat but I just don't know what to do. 'John, we have to talk.' He nodded sadly and came and sat on the sofa next to me. 'I have one year, Sherlock. I want to spend it with you.' As he touches my cheek I feel my heart slowly breaking. The tears stream down my face I but I can't stop them. He tells me not to cry but he's the only person I've ever cared about. I can't live without him.

Eleven months pass quicker than I expected. Every day goes by too quickly.

**John's second to last day.**

He says to me, 'Tomorrow is my last day, Sherlock, I want to stay at home. Today we can go exploring the town but I don't want to see anyone.' I can hardly look at him anymore but I force a small, sad smile and say, 'Of course, whatever you want to do.'

That day we went exploring, the whole time I was believing this is all a dream, a nightmare that will end. But it isn't and it won't. Johns going to die and I can't do anything to save him.

That thought alone kills me inside.

**The Final Day.**

John wanted me to sleep in the same bed as him last night, so now I wake up laying next to him. It suddenly hits me. It's the final day, Johns final day. When John wakes up he tells me he wants no crying, so I try my best but it's unbelievably hard. We visited the doctor last week. He said John has until 8pm.

After some breakfast (that neither of us ate) we sat on the sofa next to each other just talking, for the whole day. Every word I spoke to him, every word he said to me, I tried to memorise it all. I tried to memorise his voice.

**7:56 pm. **

'John I just want you to know you're the only one I've ever trusted and cared for.' He looked at me and said 'I'm scared Sherlock. I don't want to leave you. Do I have to go so soon?' I took his hand in mine and held it tight, it was hot and he was shaking. I looked into his eyes knowing I'd never see them again. It was happening...

At that moment he drifted away into a soft, calm sleep. It was over.

I was still holding his hand when he died. I slowly let go, kissed him on the cheek and laid him down gently on the sofa. I knew he could no longer hear me but I wanted to say just one more thing to him:

'I love you John Watson, I always have and I always will.'


End file.
